Well -- okay -- that was a gutsy question from a friend of ours as we sat around a table with our quarter-life friends last night. He went on to remark that today's culture in America makes it increasingly hard to find a woman with views similar to his own. He said it seemed like some women feel degraded if they have to wash a dish while their husband changes the oil in the car.  He doesn't want a wife that feels like she has to do all the dishes.  He just wants a partnership where they each do the things for which they have the talent to make a marriage better.

The rest of our friends voiced various opinions about today's culture and how it has affected marriage and family life.  It was a mixed crowd.  Some of us were women, some were men, some have careers while others are still feeling their way through not-so-great jobs.  We all agreed that it seemed like the culture of our times has bashed on men and elevated women in business to the point that it is now harder for men to find really great jobs, even with an education, while women are finding it easier to work outside of the home and even become CEO's.  None of us felt it was bad for women to have a career, but the question was asked, by several: What is the price we are paying for two careers in the household? 

Incidentally, the guy who asked about finding a wife wasn't looking for a stay-at-home wife, that would be submissive to the point of jumping up to supply every need he had.  He said he would be glad to stay at home with the kids if his wife has the better job -- when the day comes that he gets married and has kids.  He was adamant about one thing: his future children would be raised at home and would not go to daycare. 

Now, my own kids did have to endure daycare, and it was sometimes disastrous.  The most difficult repercussion was when my son told me, a few years after the incident, that his daycare provider slapped him in the face.  I had not known about it, and it was way too late to go back and correct her (three states away), although I wanted to in a bad way!

Some of the quarter-lifers believe they will eventually marry and have a traditional family. Some of the women already have a career but have mixed feelings about how to incorporate career into a marriage and family when the day comes. Some believe they will never marry, and some just aren't ready to even talk about the topic.  They believe they need a lot of personal work on themselves before they are ready to be married and raise children. 

It's true, there are a lot of hot buttons on this issue, so can we blog about this without exploding?  Can you honestly, without the baggage of cultural rhetoric, say what is on your mind?  Do you have an idea about making a great marriage and raising children in the 21st century? 

--MT

As we discussed what drives us and what stops us for moving forward, one of the guys said something that has made me think. "When we become dissatisfied with people around us maybe we just need to run to Jesus. Maybe that is His way of making us focus on Him for a change.  And maybe when we are not hearing God very well and it seems like He is very far away, we need to run to our community and rely on each other to help us through that time."

Wow! That has made me think.  When I am dissatisfied with the people around me do I press closer to God, or do I just get angry and frustrated?  When I have trouble hearing God's voice in my life, do I turn to the support and help of my community, or do I get angry and frustrated and pridefully refuse to admit my troubles to my best friends?

Good questions for me to consider.  Maybe you have insights from your life. 

--MT

Last Monday night 25Sense had our fourth gathering in the space of 9 days! In those four gatherings we have spent approximately eleven hours of focused time together. We have talked about everything from dirty jobs, sex and Jesus! We have eaten everything from donuts to hot pickled okra.  After all that, what I see happening is that I think we are beginning to like each other and are finding that we can trust each other.

One expressed goal of this group is to provide a safe place where we can experience authentic community. In such a place we are finding that we can be transparent without fear of being judged, preached at or shunned. How is that working for you? Do you agree, disagree or have any suggestions? Talk about your experience.

PB

Do we trust God and everything that He is to give us direction in our lives?  Can we take our hands off enough to let people discover God in their lives without giving them an "info dump" from our "great knowledge"?  This is the question I have to ask myself as we launch the 25-Sense movement.  I want you to tell me, "What does it mean to navigate what some people have called the 'quarter-life'?"  Care to comment?  I'm listening and learning with you!  -- Pastor Ben